I’m A Mom Smiling Though Tears As Kindergarten Nears

I can not believe it is true! Monday morning we start a new chapter in our lives. My oldest child, my little girl, starts kindergarten. I just can not believe that 5 years have past and the big day is almost here. This is just one of the many 1st we will experience in her life but wow it is a biggie for this mom! How did we get here? Seems like just yesterday we were celebrating the first smile, first night without a binky, first steps, first words, and now the 1st day of school!

Why is it so hard? Every time I talk about it I tear up.  I do not like to cry so I fight the tears as best I can. But something in my heart aches when I picture my little girl walking through those big doors and  into a  this new life. No more is it all about Mom and her little brother. Now her social life begins. It is hard to let go. I am not sure how my little guy will react when we drop her off and he sees that his days are now just him and mom. I know he will be confused and will have some emotions as well.

I want to let her learn to fly. I want her to be independent. I want this for her but it  will be a new challenge for me! Letting her venture into this new world of new things and people will be hard. I have been able to know exactly what she is experiencing and learning each day. Up til now I have been the one in charge of each day. I have been the smartest person she knows. But that is all about to change.

I smile! Yes I am smiling through my tears. I am trying to get super excited with her. Each thing – shopping for clothes, meeting the teacher, getting supplies, picking out the perfect backpack and discussing making new friends. She is overflowing with excitement! As I blink away the , I smile with her. It is the best I can do. When she does see the tears she can not understand why I would not be as excited as she is. And it is far to hard to explain! I do not even understand it!

I am praying for strength as Monday morning approaches. As I drop my baby off at school and my tears start to fall I will smile and wave! That is sure to be one of the longest 7 hours of my life. And as I pick her up and see the light of excitement in her eyes I hope I can blink the tears away and listen about her day! Then our new chapter will have begun!

  • i’m tearing up reading this. i sobbed when they took my baby on the bus- and ready for this? we got in the car and followed the bus to school. i then sobbed harder when they got OFF the bus at school because somehow, in that 7 minutes of separation, my baby turned into a big kid, and part of her life was always going to be separate from mine. its a big milestone for your baby but its also a mama milestone, heather, and don’t let anyone tell you different. my advice is to sneak off with your little guy on monday morning after you follow herbus to school and treat yourselves to *something* special. many hugs

  • Melissa Lawler

    I know how you feel. Every year the first day of school was hard for me because it meant that we were one year closer to them growing up and leaving me.

  • Cassandra Van Slyke

    Every year brings a new milestone. My oldest will be entering the 5th grade. It’s not so hard since we homeschool him(although I”m having a hard time grasping the fact that he will be 10 on Wednesday), but my 2nd child, my only Princess….she is entering the 3rd grade. She turned 9 today and this year just feels like a turning point in her childhood. She’s no longer a little girl, but is getting grown up with more responsibilities, more things to think about, more things for me to worry and think about. Soon she won’t play with dolls or dress up. Younger girls will be “too young” to play with. She’ll be in to boys and music and I don’t know if I’m ready for it. She will always be the beautiful newborn baby I had 9 years ago.

  • Carrie N

    I found your post very touching, my son will be going in to 4th grade.

  • Wendi

    Boy I remember that day. That was hard, my daughter is now going into the 4th grade and her younger brother is going into the 1st grade. When he went into Kinder it was hard but not as hard as I thought it would be.

  • Jen Miller

    I understand how you feel. Only for me, my baby is going to Kindergarten. My oldest is going to Middle School. I’m dreading the 1st day of school.. I’m be an emotional mess. I can’t believe that my little baby is really going to school..

  • I cried for both my boys when they started Kindergarten. My youngest is now going into 2nd and I am still dreading the first day back. I get so use to them being home for the summer and I enjoy having them with me and then I get so lonely without them. It does get better though. Find a good friend to be with you that morning…it helps. ((((HUGS))))

  • Mickey Reyes

    This is a very touching post.. you can get through this.. i know it may be hard but as time goes by, i know you’ll be able to over come this..

  • Great post :)

    I remember going through this with my kids (13 and 8). It will get a little easier as time goes by. Hang in there :)

  • I’m sitting hear tearing up as I read this.. My oldest starts Kindergarten on the 29th and every time I think about it I tear up.. It’s so hard to believe that it’s been 5 years already!

  • You are all so wonderful! Thanks for being so supportive and understanding! Tomorrow is the big day! WOW I can not believe how hard this is! :( I think me and my little one will need to do something fun together tomorrow. So we are both not crying all day. :)

  • Chris H

    What a lovely tribute you have written. It has been 16 years since my oldest went to Kindergarten and I still remember the day. I walked into the classroom with him, took pictures of everything, balled my eyes out and slipped away proud at his independence once class was called to order. I have done it 2 other times since with my other children and will have to do it again in 3 years when my youngest is ready. I wouldn’t change what I did or how I reacted in the world. To this day, my son remembers my participation and “handing him off” to grow.

    Good luck, stay strong, love well! Enjoy

  • Linda Flores

    Sweet post! I am in the same boat….my 5 year old, Evan, will be starting Kindergarten tomorrow & I keep getting teary-eyed just thinking about it. Hope your little girl has a great 1st day of school!! Be strong & pack some Kleenex just in case =)

  • stephanie

    My second child is starting Kindergarten this year, my oldest is going into 3rd, I feel the same way even though this is my second time around. I am very happy for her just as I was for him, but letting go is hard. I remember putting my first on the bus for the first time, and I smiled and waved and came into the house as the bus left and cried… After awhile I actually called the school ( I know a bit much ) I am ready for her to go and meet new friends and learn and enjoy her newly founded independence, so I just keep telling myself that, and reminding myself how happy she will be.

  • Jeanne Medina

    It’s the end of “My Baby”. I didn’t know I was supposed to get emotional until the K teacher gave me this mushy note about how she knew how hard it was to trust them with our precious child. Well, I’d been too busy getting ready and trying not to forget anything he might need, to notice my feelings or reflect. So, her note just boinked me in the heart, like okay, that’s the last item on the list. Feel. Yikes! I thought I’d never stop bawling.