“Balance is a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc. or the mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.” Dictonary.com
I have been a full time “work outside the home mom” and I have been a full time “stay at home mom” but now I am a full time “work at home mom“. I have to say having been in all 3 positions this one is the toughest!
As a mom who worked outside the home I thought it was challenging. I didn’t have enough time with my kids. But the plus was that the kids were having a blast while I was at work. I was able to pay for good child care where they developed friendships and had constant attention. On the weekend we could just play. There was always the battle of housework. But since both mom and dad worked it was a known fact we all had to pitch in.
As a stay at home mom I felt like my life revolved around diapers, tantrums and singing silly songs. The intellectual stimulation was non existent but things round the house ran smoothly. Dinner was ready when my husband got home, the kids had all my attention, I had time for friends and church. The things that really mattered to me. But I missed working and the creative and mental challenges that came with it.
Then I started pursuing my work at home job of blogging and social media. I prayerfully worked on it and watched it bloom into a paying job. Last year my dream job appeared and now I work 40 hours a week for an amazing company and have my blog and freelance for examiner.com. It is awesome! The kids are home with me and I am doing what I love!
Here comes the hard part that makes me lose sleep. Balance! There is no balance! Some days I feel like I am failing at everything! Trying to balance being a good mom, wife, friend, coworker, employee, business owner, writer, and everything else on my plate is hard!
I want to do it all and do it all GREAT! Sometimes I think…Do I pick what I am going to do awesome and do the rest with what is left?
No that is not me! I have to give 100% to everything I do. That means I have to make time for it all. And even eliminate the things that don’t matter as much.
As I sat here tonight I made a list. (I love lists!) I wrote down the top 4 things in my life right now. 4 is an easier number than all 25 or so things I was worrying about. Now those 4 things I can work on balancing.
As moms and women in general we were made to multitask. We can do many things and do them all well. So I encourage all the other work at home moms to do the same.
- Pick your top 4.
- Make a calendar. I use google calendar because it is in my phone and computer. It can also be shared!
- Mark time for each of your priorities.
- If you work 40 hours a week or make up your own hours put them on there. Block them as office hours. (Don’t feel bad about hiring a sitter or sending your child somewhere for those hours. )
- Then block times for the other important things in your life. Make time for your kids without work. Make time for friends. Make time for your husband. Block those things in your calendar. Share it with coworkers if need be.
- Make sure everything in your top four has a time and a place in your week.
- Stick to your calendar!